New Family Member

First… I was going to wish everyone a Happy Holidays, but when did we become so politically correct? In my family we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. So Merry Christmas! I find it odd that Christmas seems to no longer be PC in our culture and everyone has reverted to using “holidays” instead as to not offend those that are not Christians? Total BS if you ask me… I usually don’t mind offending people.

Anyway… I thought I better send out an update to everyone. If you haven’t heard already, Jaime and I have decided to add to our family. Now before you all get excited, we are not pregnant. Instead, we have finally given in to our daughter and allowed Santa to bring her an 8-week-old puppy for Christmas. Blasi named her Lilly and has taken everywhere the last week. She is a “Teddy Bear” breed, which is ½ Bichon, ¼ Shih Tzu, and ¼ Maltese. She continues to make us laugh as her personality starts to show.





Our other dog, Sage, doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with her, but seems to tolerate her and we think he will warm to her. For now, Lilly chases him around and he tries to avoid her. Luckily he can jump onto the couch and Lilly isn’t big enough to make the jump.

Everyone spoiled the kids as usual, but what’s new, eh? Jaime and I both are lucky enough to have a couple of weeks off from work and have been spending plenty of quality time together. Which has been nice.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to you and your families and I hope you have a safe and prosperous New Year.

Sports Depression, Palin, and Betrayal.

Part 2 -- Palin

First off… If you haven’t voted yet, Get your ass out and vote. I don’t care if you are voting for McCain or Obama, just VOTE! Many Americans believe it is our right to vote, but it isn’t our right. It is our privilege. A privilege that countless American soldiers gave their lives so we would have a voice. With gas prices soaring and the economy is going down the shit hole faster than the after effects of a night at the Hacienda. This is the year that your voice must be heard.

I originally planned to right a biased blog on why you should vote for Obama, but since the polls will be closed before most of you read this I will not influence your decision. I won’t mention how it scares the shit out of me that if McCain wins Palin is one stroke or heart attack from being President. From the moment she was introduced as the “Mavericks” running mate, I was most excited about Saturday Night Live and how Tina Fey was going to be staying up all night working on material. I won’t mention any of that. If the McCain/Fey ticket wins… shit, I can’t even keep them straight now. I mean if the McCain/Palin ticket happens to make it to office and Bush moves into the guesthouse so he can continue to supply economic advice, so be it. I won’t mention any of that. I won’t even point you to this hilarious video from P Diddy (Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, whatever his name is today). She scares me too Diddy, but I’m not going to bash her. I’m not going to bring any of that up.

Instead, I’m going to discuss something much more serious. Ever since the night Sarah Palin was introduced as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate I had two thoughts. 1) Tina Fey is going to have a hay day. 2) I can’t shake the thought that at any moment Palin is going to toss her glasses to the crowd, whip her hair around and jump up on the podium and do a strip tease or pole dance. Not being sexist here, I never envisioned Hilary doing this. It’s just something about Palin! I swear, she may do lap dances on the side. Maybe it’s just me… She is hot, I must admit. And getting to laugh at her comments for 4 more years would be entertaining. She may even give Bush a run for his money on stupid responses, and it would definitely be worth it to watch SNL for the next 4 years if she is VP. But I swear, I hear cheesy stripper music whenever she talks and at any moment she is going to pull that naughty librarian routine out. I may just have to rent Nailin Palin…

Anyway… like I said. McCain or Obama, make your voice heard. Get your ass out and vote. This is our future, our kids future…

Sports Depression, Palin, and Betrayal.

Since things have been a little busy and I haven’t had a chance to blog as much as I would like, I find that I have all kinds of thoughts and feelings building up inside of me. So I thought I would get a few out today. Albeit, they may be a little delayed... It got a little lengthy, so I’m going to break it down into 3 parts.

Part 1 – Sports Depression
Between the Chicago Cubs and Iowa Football, this fall has sucked and I’m in a bit of a sports depression!!! I haven’t even watched any of the World Series yet... I’m sure nobody is questioning the disappointment of the Chicago Cubs epic let down AGAIN. My problem is you can’t even call this year’s collapse a let down. They failed to even show up. I have never seen so many players waste so many at bats. It’s like they didn’t even have a game plan on what they wanted to do at the plate! I’ve seen little leaguers have a better game plan than some of those guys. For the first time in my life, I’m thinking of switching to a different team. Perhaps the Angels or UCLA softball. Maybe the Bad News Bears. At least they showed some f-ing heart! Anyway, it’s almost November and I’m over it. Kind of...

Some of you may be thinking “Hey, the Hawkeyes are starting to play some good ball” and wonder how I can throw them in this conversation. I can only respond to that with a big ole, WHO GIVES A FLYING F@CK! I’m tired of the passive-aggressive Iowa fans that are content with an 8-9 win season. I don’t even want to win 10 games and play in the Rose Bowl anymore. I want to run the fricking schedule and go 11-0 and play for a national title! Is that too much to ask for? And to think we would be undefeated right now if the coaches would have decided on a QB before the first game and work out those jitters against weak teams! Hell, with a back like Shonn Greene, why do you even need a QB?!? We wasted this guy’s talent and I will be surprised if he comes back for another year. Don’t get me wrong though... I still love me some Hawkeyes and am not looking for a new college football team. I’m just tired of people settling for mediocrity. I went to Mount Mercy College and we never lost 1 damn football game. That’s how you build a legacy!

Two closing thoughts here:
1) Vote for Shonn Greene for the Heisman.
2) If you’re looking for an interesting Hawkeye Football blog, check out Jeff Buch’s blog “Jeffrey the Greek”. The author was a perennial bench warmer for the hawks from 1996-2000 and has some interesting views on the upcoming games.

Sorry to rant, I had to get that off my chest. Go Hawks! And for that other team that rips my heart out and stomps on it until it...well, wait tell frickin next year.

Family Update

It’s Monday night and I’m flipping channels between the Red Sox/Angels game, Monday Night Football, and various political ads and to be honest, I would rather watch my 5000th political ad than another commercial for Frank TV. When I first saw these commercials I found them to be humorous. But after seeing them every 10 minutes, I’m sick and tired of seeing Franks mug on TV. And to be completely honest, the actual show sucks more than a Hoover vacuum or a penny whore, take your pick.

I’ve been mulling over a post that I think I will call “Sports Depression, Palin, and Betrayal.” But I thought before I would go into those details, I thought I would give a little update on our lives.

You may have noticed that I have been slacking a bit in the blogging world. I have no excuses except I have been extremely busy! I’m taking my second consecutive class towards my MBA. I typically take a month or so off between classes as they are 6 weeks of intense coursework that severely cuts into my sleep. However, my goal is to only have 3 classes left after this year. So I’m taking 3 classes back to back to back. This will translate into 18 weeks of 5 hours of sleep or less each night! I tend to rely on a caffeine IV drip and auto pilot on my hour commute to the office. I have been practically living in the basement where I have setup shop for my office/classroom. I think Jaime is afraid to go downstairs to see how much of a mess it is! To be honest, the only reason I have time to write this post is because the class website is currently down and I’m waiting for it to come back up so I can post an assignment.

Other than class, I’ve been extremely busy with work. I was recently added as a Core Team member to a major organizational initiative to completely overhaul how we do business from beginning to end. This has resulted in several trips. I was in San Antonio a few weeks ago and will be leaving for Minnesota on Wednesday before heading back to San Antonio later this month. I’m leading the sub-team to optimize our publishing activities and am very excited about the challenge. It’s an honor to be selected for this team, but with it comes a lot of work.

In my free time, my dad and I have been coaching Blasi’s soccer team. We had our last game last Saturday (Our 6 & 7 year olds kicked their 6 & 7 year olds ass, yea... I’ll say it!) I think we finished the year with a 7-3 record. Hey, that’s good enough for a bowl game, right? Although Cole was too young to play this year, we suited him up anyway and he played in every game. He was all smiles every time he was on the field! We are looking forward to celebrating Cole’s 6th birthday this month!














Jaime has been enjoying her job at Rockwell. She is supporting a rather large group and has been extremely busy getting ready for 75 customers to visit for the next two weeks. She couldn’t be happier with her decision to leave Aura Cacia for Rockwell and I’m very proud of her.

For your enjoyment, I have posted a soccer video I made for my team. It's a 25 MB file so it may take a little while to load. Coming up next: “Sports Depression, Palin, and Betrayal.” Stay tuned...

The Rogan Results

Just thought I would jump online real quick and post the results of the latest post so we will have a record when I remove the poll.

The overwhelming majority agree with my wife Jaime, that Cole does indeed resemble Seth Rogan. Or it may be the other way around, Seth Rogan resembles Cole.

Yes votes: 6
No votes: 4

The sad reality is that this also confirms another fact. Sober Moments hasn’t hit the big time yet as it apparently only has 10 readers! And that’s assuming that nobody voted twice.

Anyway, it was good to see Cole and Suni back in Iowa a few weeks ago. I believe I have some pics somewhere that may get posted at some point

The Great Seth Rogan Debate

So last night I was downstairs working on some homework, but mostly watching TV when the Jay Leno show came on. Now, I normally don’t watch Jay Leno (I like they guy, just not a big talk show fan) unless a real hot chick is his guest. Well last night his guest was Seth Rogan who was plugging his new movie “The Pineapple Express”. Well, this captured my attention and I had to tune in.

So you may be thinking, “Why the hell would Seth Rogan capture Tim’s attention?” Well it all goes back to a day back in October when Jaime and I were watching the movie “Knocked Up”, which I thought was hilarious, when Jaime out of the blue remarked on the fact that Seth Rogan reminds her of our good friend Cole S. ( I didn’t provide the full last name to protect Mr. Stinson’s privacy). I think I blew beer out of my nose when she made that comment. And yes, I often drink beer while watching romantic movies with my wife. And yes, I consider Knocked Up a romantic movie. It has sex anyway. Sex = Romance, simple as that.

I probably wouldn’t blog about this but the timing of the whole thing was just to damn good! The fact that Seth Rogan was on TV to remind me of this story on the same week that Cole and Suni are heading to Iowa had to be more than a coincidence. The good Lord must have planned this fate so that I could bring back some good memories for everyone!

Now... This was a private conversation between Jaime and me until I shared this little tidbit with Cole at Brandon & Monica’s wedding back in November (Wedding was on the 10th, but I believe this conversation was on the 9th. I could be wrong, alcohol was involved). Let’s just say Cole wasn’t thrilled with being compared to a pot-smoking Canadian that got his start in a short lived TV show called Geeks & Freaks. Which I actually enjoyed until it got canceled.

To Jaime’s defense, she never thought Cole actually looked like Seth Rogan. She just thought his personality and how he talked reminded her of Cole. Which she tried to explain over and over and over and over... Well you get the picture. However, this didn’t seem to sit much better with our buddy Cole. When I look back, I think Cole was most upset because she compared him to a Canadian. Not that there is anything wrong with Canadians, some of my favorite people are Canadian, eh. And Jaime just kept digging a bigger and bigger hole. In fact, here is a photo that sums it up pretty good.


Now personally, I think it’s a rather humorous debate... And thought I would open the discussion up to all of you. I have a new poll posted to the left. And here are some nice photos of Cole and Seth Rogan.

Oh... And Cole. Looking forward to seeing you guys again! And for the record, I did not agree with my wife. Although I find Seth Rogan to be a rare comedic genius and so in that regards, I guess he does remind me a bit of Cole. But for the rest of you... Please cast your vote.

Busy Week!

Good Friday everyone! I’m working from home today, so I thought I would do a quick blog.

It’s been a really busy couple of weeks. If you read my last blog, I flew down to San Antonio the night before our wedding anniversary. I know, what a guy.

(Side note: A cute blond on the Price Is Right, just gave a shout out to her Tattoo Artist while she was spinning the big wheel. What the hell?)

Anyway, so my trip to TX went really well… Except for the flights. Granted, a bird did not shit on me while I was boarding the plane, but we can’t all have the luck of Cole Stinson.

First off, I try to share my mistakes with others so you can all learn from me. Tip 1: Do not order Buffalo wings right before you get on a plane for 2 hours. It makes it very difficult to take a nap. Tip 2: Apparently Spicy Nachos with refried beans is not a better option.

Other than some uncomfortable moments (see tip 1 above), the flight to San Antonio was fairly uneventful. I wish I could say the same about the flight back.

Trying to fly out of San Antonio I sat in the plane for 50 minutes. Nothing is worse than sitting in a plane for 50 minutes without air conditioning. Luckily we finally were able to take off and after a couple of Sky Vodka on the rocks I was in a better mood. And the fact that the guys sitting next to me bought a Playboy magazine helped the time fly by. I can’t remember her name, but there is a blond tennis player that is… never mind.

Unfortunately, while I was sitting in the airplane in San Antonio, I got an email letting me know that my flight from Chicago to Cedar Rapids was canceled and they booked me on the 10:00 flight the next morning. Great!!! When we landed in Chicago, I quickly surveyed my options and decided to catch a flight to Dubuque. And my gracious wife agreed to pick me up, which is a scary thought since at the time she was at Hacienda drinking a Marg! Luckily, after Jaime asked where I80 was Brandon and Monica decided they better go with her.

As I sat in the plane waiting to fly to Dubuque we were alerted to another delay. The plane hit a bird on the way in and we couldn’t fly out until they cleaned it off! At this point I’m thinking three things. 1) Here we go again, 2) What was that tennis player’s name? 3) I hope they smoked big birds ass on the way in. I hate that damn bird.

After they cleaned the bird off, we were told it was going to be another 30 minutes as there was an “incident” with another plane that was blocking one of the runways. So we are 20th in line to fly out.

Anyway, to make a long story short(er), Jaime, Monica, and Brandon road tripped to pick me up and we made it back to Center Point around 2:30 in the morning!

With all the travel, I forgot that I signed up to play in a 2-man best-shot golf tournament on Sunday morning. So I tried to round up some people to play. Unfortunately, with less than 24 hours notice, finding players was not easy. So on to plan B. Sunday marked my 5-year old son Cole’s debut to best-shot golf. And to make it even better, Cole and I flighted in and he won $15. He was pretty excited. Below is a picture of him in action.



After the golf tournament, I packed up the family and we all headed to Owatonna, MN. We have an office up there so I was going to be in meetings for two days. Luckily, they have a hotel with an indoor waterpark. So Jaime and the kids decided to come along. The kids really enjoyed it and I think they are in love with Waterslides now! For those of you not familiar with MN, you can only buy wine at liquor stores. So Jaime even took the kids on there first field trip to a liquor store. God, I love that woman!

I don’t have a picture of the kids at the park yet. But here is one of them with cousin Tanner on vacation.



Well, I better get some real work done. Until later…

Anniversary

It’s official… Jaime and I have been happily married for 5 years now! Many of you may remember that day 9 years ago when we tied the knot in front of all our friends and family. Boy does time fly! I was slightly hung over, Jaime was slightly on edge.

So… What do you get your bride after all these years? I mean, really if you think about it, isn’t being married to me a treat in itself? ;-) jk. Well, I gave her the best gift I can think of. I got on a plane last night and flew to San Antonio for the rest of the week. She gets a whole week without me. I really out did myself on this one.

On a serious note… Happy Anniversary Jaime. I love you. You are my soul, my heart, my passion and I cherish every day I get to spend with you.

Even those 4-5 days every month where you are a bit on the grumpy side. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

The Return!

Well...It’s been a few days since my last blog. OK, 64 days to be exact. To be honest, I have no excuses other than things got very busy between school, work, and vacations. I’ve had the itch though. Don’t worry, I don’t have crabs. I’ve had the itch to sit down and share a few stories. And I feel obligated to get back in the game after receiving emails from friends of ours, Cole and Suni Stinson. Apparently, my lack of blogging has been “directly affecting Cole’s sex life” and Suni has vowed to hold out until I post something. Well, I can’t have that! Who knew my written words were such a turn on for Suni! ;-) So Cole, buddy. Here you go. Wherever you are at, drop everything and rush to a bedroom to bump the uglies. (My wife hates it when I refer to sex like that.)

Alas, I’m not going to blog about Suni and Cole’s sex life. After all, that would be a pretty short topic. ;-0

Instead, I think I will post a little story about a recent vacation we took to Wisconsin with my family. Every summer when my brother Jeff and his family come home we all take a family vacation together with my parents. This year we went to Lake Minocqua in the northwood of Wisconsin. Beautiful country and we had a wonderful time! So that is 14 of us in one house which sometimes leads to some uncomfortable situations. Lucky for me, I find those uncomfortable situations to be hilarious and thought I would share one with you all.

So you all know my sister Lindsey and her husband Andy, right? Well they have 2 adorable girls, Kassidy (2) and Braylee (4 months). And for those of you with small children you may remember how difficult it is to find some alone time. Well, around 3:00 in the afternoon one day Andy and Lindsey thought they had found the perfect time to sneak away for some “Alone Time”. Kassidy was with my mom and she wondered where her parents were. So Mom and Kassidy went searching. It didn’t take them long as they knocked once and the charged right into Andy and Lindsey’s bedroom! I won’t go into much detail here, but let’s just say I’m proud of Andy for getting up the nerve to moon my mom. Even if it wasn’t planned! And my mom in complete shock put Kassidy down and ran out of the room... Leaving Kassidy behind with her parents! Good thing I’m not one to give anyone a hard time. ;-)

So there you have it... Andy got some; Cole is going to get some. Maybe it’s my turn? I better get upstairs!

Oh, and I will try and get my Friday posts back up. I will be in TX Tuesday – Friday and then head to MN on Sunday. So I should have plenty of time in the evenings to share some stories about a recent canoe trip where I challenged death and once again came away the victor.

Happy Mother's Day

Well, it’s the Friday before Mothers Day and I can proudly say I already bought Jaime her Mother’s Day gift. I spent literally minutes trying to think of the perfect gift for such a wonderful mother and wife and I think I hit a home run with this one. What mother would not want a brand new vacuum? That’s right, you read that correctly. Brand New! Not even used! And to top it off, it’s a Consumer Reports Best Buy. I should be rewarded for this for months! For those of you that would like to follow suit, I recommend the Eureka Boss Smart Vac.

And don’t worry, I didn’t spoil the surprise. I had golf league last night so I gave her the gift early so she would have something to do while I was out. I know... very thoughtful. Sorry ladies... Once again, I’m taken.

Since its Mother’s Day weekend, I thought I would give a shout out to my own mother. I could not have asked for a more caring, loving, and wonderful individual to call my Mom. I hope she realizes how much of an impact she has had on my life. (By the way, did everyone here she is retiring from teaching?)

Anyway, with Mother’s Day quickly approaching, it made me think about what my mom must have went through raising Jeff and I. Talk about a chore! Oh, and Lindsey. But this story is more about my brother and me.

I’m sure many of you that grew up with my brother and I have fond memories of him kicking my ass. Sometimes well deserved... Growing up we had many strategically placed mirrors to cover a few holes where fists landed that were meant for my head. I don’t know, maybe I was too much of a smartass. I know... Surprising. I do think our relationship helped me in athletics. If you want a good speed and quickness workout, piss my brother off then run like hell!

Anyway, I haven’t pissed my brother off to the point that I needed to lock myself in the bathroom in some time, and I proudly consider him a valued friend today. Jeff and his wife, Tammy, have two wonderful boys that I will someday corrupt, and Tammy is pregnant with their 3rd child right now. Rumored to be a girl. We are so excited for them.

Anyway, this post wasn’t really meant to be about the graceful path to friendship that my brother and I had. It was to setup this video tribute to my mom. I was cleaning my computer last week and stumbled across this video that was circulating around the internet a while back. I’m sure some of you have seen it already. It is one of my all time favorite videos.

I dedicate this posting to my mom, as this video reminds me of Jeff and me growing up. In fact, it could be a reenactment of several moments in our lives. I will let you determine which brother would play the role of “Tim”.

And to all you mothers... Happy Mother’s Day. Thanks for helping us reproduce. We love you!

Is Summer finally here?

We finally have had a couple of nice days in Iowa. Sunshine, low wind, NO RAIN! The kids have been outside playing t-Ball almost every chance they get. Blasi has her first game tonight (if it doesn’t rain), so that should be interesting.

I have to take a second and give my wife some props right now. I spent most of the afternoon on Sunday playing golf and left my wife and kids at home. When I returned that evening, Jaime had mowed the lawn, cleaned the inside and outside of my car, and did the laundry! No wonder she doesn’t ever blog. And here I was enjoying the nice weather playing some golf and drinking a few beers. What a woman!!! Sorry guys... She’s spoken for!

And ladies, if you’re looking for a slightly overweight man that spends most of his free time golfing and hates to clean, cook, or do any chores in general. Well, I’m spoken for too... What a woman!

Yes, I have some news!

I feel the need to set the record straight. If you haven’t heard yet, I’ve been offered a promotion at work. My wife has been telling people I was offered the “Head of Technology” position. In reality, I have been offered the Manager, Technical Services position for our Publishing Operations Division. Which I have tentatively accepted, I most likely will officially accept after we talk money when I return from my business trip to Minnesota.

You may or may not know that we recently purchased one of our biggest competitors and have been going through integration activities since January. Part of this activity is to determine how we will integrate staff between the two companies. Obviously, this has caused plenty of stress and sleepless nights. I don’t think I have had a good night sleep since Feb! The hardest part is that I kept everything a secret from Jaime because A.) I didn’t want her to worry and B.) I didn’t want her to get too excited and harass me daily for updates. ;-) Things just don’t happen fast in a big company.

I am very thankful to finally know what my role will be. The down side is that I will no longer be managing our online testing team. I developed our online testing team from 2 assessments and 1 employee (me), to around 14 assessments, 6 Project Managers and 9 designers located in Iowa City and Austin, TX. It’s been my baby for the past 3 years. However, I feel confident that I built the team on a solid foundation and will look forward to seeing how they grow moving forward.

I’m excited with my new role, and once again I will be asked to grow a division from infancy. I will start with 11 employees, several in San Antonio, and it is the group that has been tagged to experience the most growth over the next few years. It will be a huge challenge to develop this group and determine its role over the next few years. I can’t wait to get started!

But anyway... I just wanted to set the record straight. I am not the “Head of Technology” (yet), or the CTO, or CEO, or King. The title is “Manager, Technical Services.

Oh! And the other question people seem to ask. This does not require relocation. I will continue to work in Iowa City and have no plans to move away from Center Point. Even with the frickin gas prices! (Side note, a guy from our meeting today just returned from France. After you figure in the exchange rate, gas is about $9/gallon in France!!!)

Hope all is well with everyone else. Nice to see my wife still is not blogging after she begged me to set this up!!!

I better get some sleep, I have an exciting day of value stream mapping tomorrow morning. They better have some coffee this time!!!

To be or not to be

I’ve decided that on Friday’s I’m going to try and take the time to write about whatever the hell I feel like. Last week of course was my debut with a debate about what I lovingly refer to as my “Junk”. What better to follow up that in-depth piece than with a post about Jaime’s female anatomy! I had a great post all ready to go titled “To C or not to C: My Wife’s pursuit of the perfect C cups.”

Unfortunately, she said if I posted anything about her anatomy there would be no need for the Peter Peter Cottontail debate because we would begin practicing abstinence. Hmm… Did I find a way out of surgery?

After a couple of days debating this choice, I’ve decided to change my topic. So consider this…

To be or not to be: Tim’s pursuit to get in shape.

If you know my wife, she can eat all day and doesn’t seem to gain a pound. And to make things worse, she’s got a 6-pack after having 2 kids! Me on the other hand, the only time I have a six-pack is when I buy one at the grocery store! Mmmm… I could use a beer now. But anyway, I digress.

A few weeks ago, fueled by a streaking incident (don’t ask), I decided its time to get my fat ass in shape. My wife and I recently purchased a workout video called Hip Hop Abs with Shaun T. Shaun T looked like a pretty cool dude in his info commercial. I now think he’s a butt pirate. Sorry, my mom hates that term. I now think he’s a little bit on the fem side.

So now picture this… Jaime, Blasi, Cole and I all downstairs doing hip hop abs together! With moves like “The Freak”, “Get Busy”, and “Night Fever”. I am so glad we finally got shades up in our basement!

Now my pursuit to lose a few pounds has proven a couple of things to me.
• I have absolutely no hip hop skills. Seriously, my body is not even able to move the way some of these moves require.
• My kids take after my Wife.
• I need to work out by myself because I get too distracted by my Wife and her ability to dance.
• Doing Hip Hop abs after a few beers isn’t the best idea.

So there you have it, I’ve committed to get into shape, at least a shape that isn’t quite as round as my current shape. I’m thinking this will become more of a personal struggle between me getting off my lazy ass and doing some exercise and my love to do anything BUT exercise! Like drink beer and play golf!

Anyway, until next time. Drink and be merry… And if you talk to my wife, tell her to quit the excuses and start blogging!!!

Family Photos

Every night I come home, The Wife asks me why I haven't posted anything about the kids on the Blog. I keep telling her that updates on the kids and family are her responsibility and I'm just here for the occasional humor relief. She claims she doesn't know how to write well (What does this say about our high school educations?). So I guess it's up to me.

And in typical Tim laziness, this slideshow is all you get for now.

Peter Peter Cottontail

I never really realized how difficult it would be to determine what thought provoking content I would want to discuss in my first real blog post. I could discuss my relationship with my wife, which is always entertaining. Or how about an affectionate tale about the kids? I suppose Jaime will fill this blog with nothing but news and pictures of our kids, so I will leave that up to her. I guess there is one topic that is very dear to me that has been on my mind a lot lately. My Penis.

Yes, you read that correctly, my Penis!

You see, The Wife and I have decided that two beautiful and wonderful kids are enough to fill our heart with happiness for the rest of our lives. So, yes we are done having children. The only problem is that Jaime comes from a family that gets pregnant just from drinking out of the same cup. So we need to do something to make sure we are done having children.

Apparently, there are only two humane options to do this. Jaime could get her tubes tied or I could get my wingding snipped (rumor is this can increase your likelihood of getting prostate cancer). Obviously, I vote for Jaime to get her tubes tied. If you think about it, she has gone through the excruciating pain of childbirth twice, she is tough enough to handle major surgery. Jaime has other thoughts though.

At Jaime’s last yearly 55-point inspection she asked the FEMALE doctor about the prostate cancer risk. Apparently that is a myth, or at least that is what her FEMALE doctor said.

So… It looks like I am going to lose this argument and have to face the knife. Which turns out really bothers me.

Jaime, on the other hand, seems to enjoy the notion and is dying to setup an appointment. Where is her empathy for the thing that has brought her so much joy over the years?

I’ve tried to discuss my concerns with her, but she is consumed with delight that I will be getting snipped. So I guess I will air my concerns here. I’m only 31 years old, isn’t that a little young to get your balls cut off? I mean what if my next wife wants to have children? (That’s a joke honey). OK, I guess my real concern is this… It’s not a huge surface to work on down there, if you know what I mean. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not small by any means, I’d say I’m modestly equipped. But, what if the doctor misses? Or slips? Or doesn’t put things to sleep correctly? What if my Peter gets turned into a cottontail?

Please pray for me.

Also, I started a poll to the left for who should get fixed. Please vote for Jaime!!!

18 years!

I don't know if Tim remember's this date, but this is when we first started dating in Junior High. I knew when I first saw him, I wanted him (forever). Love u Honey!

Holy Crap

Apparently blogging is bigger than MySpace and Jaime insisted we conform and start a Blog so she can be like all her friends. In advance, I would like to apologize for any annoying comments about her hot husband.

Site looks a little lame right now...